The violence starts with little girls so they understand their place
before they learn to question it.
Before we are even woMEN, we are already well versed in what we should
talk like,
act like,
be like,
look like.
And if we don’t get it right the first time, we will shapeshift into whatever
we think he needs,
which is anything but who we actually are.

The ideal body is burned into young eyes so they can start the race to perfection early. The ideal
woMAN was invented by a man. A woMAN who wore aprons, pale pink lipstick, pearls and
house slippers.
And when woMEN got tired of slippers,
he thought stilettos would slow her down in the office.

The woMAN’s body was
never meant to be realistic.
It was made to be a finish line
that kept moving one step ahead of us.
WoMEN were meant to chase this body,
not attain it.
Strive for it, not own it.
Be so busy in our lack
that we forgot our power.

We are taught that it’s not only men who will assault you, but woMEN too.
We will punish and shame
ourselves into submission.
We will pick apart every inch of our body that doesn’t fit the word
pretty.
We will turn on each other and fight for his pedestal at the top.
Then look down on all the women’s dirty shoulders that we stomped on to get his approval
in his favourite pale pink lipstick.

All the while he whispers:
“she is crazy”
“she’s too much”
“she has daddy issues”
“she plays like a girl”
“she slept her way to the top”
“she should smile more”
“she’s so angry”

Do you feel smaller yet?
If woMEN are so powerless,
why does he work so hard to limit us?
Limit our influence.
Limit our value.
Limit our voice.
Limit our opportunity.
Limit our impact.
Limit.
Limit.
Limit.
Control.

WoMEN should fit inside boxes
like they fit into hip hugging jeans.
Count calories over opportunities.
Make dinner not power moves.
Take out the garbage not the patriarchy.
Wear dresses not the pants.
Raise children not standards.

\\

But I will no longer starve myself to
taste more palatable for him.
I will not lower my voice for his comfort.
I will not paint my lips with pale pink lipstick and pretend I know less.
I will not raise a daughter to smile more
and ask politely.

I will not grasp at power after small men.
I will make my own.
And he can hold my pale pink lipstick while I do it.