My present reality is defined by grief, a profound emotion that has woven its way into the fabric of my life. First is the passing of John Robinson, an indigenous elder, who became my friend and colleague, as explored in my previous blog. Then, the death of my sister, which not only brought personal sorrow but also led to loss of opportunity to remain in Canada and connect with the communities where I felt a profound sense of belonging. Recently, I mourned the loss of Sister Patricia Orban, an RNDM sister with whom I shared a transformative journey of healing and reconciliation alongside indigenous peoples. Her death left a void in my heart. She was someone whom I could reach out to anytime and share thoughts with about something that mattered to both of us, our common love for indigenous peoples.

In a seemingly trivial yet personally impactful revelation, I find myself grieving the newly exposed identity of Buffy Sainte-Marie by CBC. Her music has been a solace, guiding me through challenging moments as I grappled with the harsh realities faced by indigenous peoples in North America.

Additionally, my new life situation has imposed limitations that extinguish certain dreams, compounding the layers of grief.

Grief is an indescribable force, a shroud enveloping the heart. It’s a highly personal experience, and I navigate its ebbs and flows in my unique way. Sometimes, the intensity of grief is incommunicable, rooted in the personal dynamics of my relationship with the lost person or dream.

At the same time, in this grief, I have come to know how deep my capacity to love is. I have also felt the support of many who love me and support me through this grief.