My mother, Trinidad, recently transitioned from her earthly life to God’s embrace, leaving our family grappling with grief. Despite the comfort our faith tradition offers, her passing was an ordeal as we navigated the decision to provide palliative care. In the Philippines, this form of care is not widely practiced outside hospitals, but my mother did not wish to stay in the hospital.
Setting up palliative care at home involved acquiring a hospital bed and arranging for oxygen support. My mother’s decline, stemming from liver metastasis, left us facing the harsh reality that medical interventions would only prolong her discomfort.
As her body began to shut down, our home became a hub of shared emotions and memories. We grappled with the emotional weight of our decision to prioritize her comfort over aggressive treatments. Despite her prior health struggles, the inevitability of her passing still felt sudden.
Throughout the week, we held vigil, each moment filled with a mix of hope and sorrow. While we didn’t realize it at the time, reflecting back, the support we offered to my mother and each other seemed similar to the role of a death doula—providing comfort, holding space, and fostering a sense of peace during her final journey.
She passed away on Friday, early morning, surrounded by the love and prayers of her children and the gentle presence of two RNDM sisters. In the days since her passing, we’ve been holding onto memories and finding solace in the thought that she’s finally at peace. It’s a tough journey but we are remembering her with love and gratitude for being a great mother and mentor.
Sr Patricia Lourdes “Petite” Lao, RNDM is a religious missionary of the Congregation of Our Lady of the Missions. She is currently a doctoral candidate of the Toronto School of Theology (Regis College) with a research interest in Indigenous-visible minority dialogue and the truth and reconciliation process.
Such a beautiful, picture of your mom, Petite! May the life I see there keep enlivening your own in these days of grief and letting go.
Thank you Petite for your refection on your Mother’s death. As I read, Buffy Sainte-Marie’s words came to mind – words I know are also meaningful to you. Your Mother has died, your world is changed utterly, “And still this love goes on and on
Still this love goes on.”
I, too, love the picture of Trining, Petite, and am touched by your sharing. May memories of her goodness continue to comfort and sustain you and your family.
Thank you, Petite for your sharing. Love is surrounding us in many ways. I remembered reading Richard Rohr’s Daily Meditations: Facing Reality: ” The adges of our lives- fully experienced, suffered, and enjoyed- lead us back to the center and the essence, which is Love”.