Indigenous and Community Relations Circle

A good number of us from St. Kateri Church (Winnipeg) attended the Virtual Workshop on Grief and Loss by Sharon Ward (Brokenhead First Nation). She shared about their beliefs, faith traditions, ceremonies and spiritual practices. This is interesting to learn and know their cultures and the way they honor the departed. She said, ‘In our way of life, we transcend from this world into the Spirit World’.

She went on to say that they see the Spirit World when they see the Northern Lights dancing-dancing as warriors. The Spirit World is not scary for Anishinaabe people. They see it as a big pow wow in the sky. The Northern Lights dancing is a time of celebration.

The creator talks directly to then and tells them always to stay in communication with the Spirit world. He sent the Spirit Warrior Dancers to come down and look for the people who are lost. Their people who have gone to the Spirit World always come and look for them. Therefore, if they whistle at night, the spirits may believe they are crying. But if they believe they are teasing them, they might take their spirit up to their world anyway.

When someone passes on, a sacred fire is lit for four days. It is meant as a prayer. People offer tobacco in the fire for the person who is journeying, as well as prayers for the ones left behind. During the four days of the fire, there is always someone keeping an eye on the fire. A memorial feast after one year is a time to let go of the person who has passed to the Spirit World. They give them food, and sometimes a medicine bag to accompany them on their journey. The medicine bag will contain sage, cedar, sweet grass and tobacco.

If a woman sews, she might sew brand new skirts and shirts and give them out during the time of grieving as if the deceased person is still around. Those who have gone to the Spirit world have completed the work assigned to them. The Creator gives each individual a certain job to do, and an allotted time to complete it.

A child has his/her reasons for deciding to go back to the Spirit World. Death is not the end nor does it mean the spirit of the child is not present. Sharon described the special ceremony for a lost child who dies before birth. She put out a bottle, a rattle, toys and some other things, and then said prayers for the child. She said that babies sometimes do come back but may need more time before they come back. We are never alone. There are people on the other side who take care of us. Their job on earth may be finished, but they have now transitioned into a new job.

Sharon advised creating our own family support group, meeting once or twice per month. However, it is also important to be aware and acknowledge the other circles who are travelling a similar pain. Sharing circles help them to let their loved ones go. They may also use sweat lodges or other ceremonies.

When they go inside a sweat lodge, they can talk to the Creator and let go of tears, fears, pain, and anger. Some say that it is good not to cry. But we should not believe that, because the tears are an important way of expressing the emotions of the heart. There is no right or wrong way to grieve. Each person has a certain time they need to grieve and will know when their time is over when they are able to talk to the individual who has passed to the Spirit World, knowing they are always close by and concerned about their loved ones they have left behind.

Anishinaabe people have the custom of adopting. If a person loses a brother and knows someone who reminds them of the brother, they may tell him that they are adopting him as their brother. The hair of grievers: The “Long Hair Society” people are known for their long hair, a sign of the strength and wisdom they carry that helps them overcome many difficulties. Cutting their hair is traumatizing and traditionally they did not cut their hair which is considered sacred – as is every part of one’s being.

From the time of conception, the baby is cared for. But if a child does die very young, it is not because the child is lost; it is because the child was not ready to come into the world. Children are close to the Creator, so they often surprise us by what they say. A little boy asked for tobacco from an elder. He said to the elder, “When I was in the womb of my mother, I was in the womb of my Creator. The Creator asked me if I wanted to choose to live in the world or not. So I chose the life I was to live. And I chose how many years I was to live.” The people believe that the Creator speaks to the children when they are in the womb.

When they lose someone who is close and dear, they realize they have to let go of them. They may give someone tobacco and a gift and ask them to cut their hair. They will then smudge the hair with tobacco and pray. They will make a braid and put it in the casket with the body of the loved one, or in the fire, or bury it. In that way, they let go of the person and show them that they do not want to cause them more pain. They let go of their hair in a sacred manner so the deceased can have peace, and so they will be able to travel between the Spirit World and our world in order to help people.

‘Letting Go Ceremonies’ include: Giveaways, Feasts, Wiping of Tears, or Doctoring for people with deep grief. There are no time limits for doing these ceremonies. Grief work is meant to help people from being stuck in the past, and for people who are isolated. The community needs to keep in contact with them and help in whatever way they need. Learning is a lifelong process; at times it challenges and at times it inspires!

[Jacinta Dkhar RNDM]